Recently all of my exes have been parading through my dreams, transmuting into one another at picnics, carnivals, and greenhouses.
Great time to be reminded that learning isn’t linear.
Healing happens in a spiral.
This lesson is useful when any annoying experience from my past comes up again (in work life, relationship land, or another part of my inner world) and I feel like:
“Jeezzz. I already dealt with this, what’s wrong with me? I must be regressing or messing something up. I’m failing on my own healing path because the same nonsense is here again.”
Confusion can also come up around addictive behaviors, cravings, and wanting to act out in ways I thought I’d left in the past:
Crappy self-talk, body dysmorphia, gossip, over-booking myself, saying yes when I mean no . . . can you relate?
If healing does happen on a linear timeline, then it feels like I’ve gone backwards, and that’s a terrible feeling.
However, what I’ve been taught is that healing happens on a spiral. Learning isn’t linear.
Basically our healing and learning happens cyclically, like a spiral going up a cup.
When you come around again to a similar situation or lesson, it might feel like, “Eff. I’m in the same place again.” In truth though, you’re slightly higher up on the spiral journey through time / space / healing than you were before.
After going around the healing spiral a few more times, you’ll be able to feel the difference in your reactions, useful gadgets in your toolbox, and relevant transformational experiences since the first time this situation came up.
It might take five times around, or twenty times around to feel the difference, but it’s guaranteed that while similar things are coming up, you’re not going backwards down a straight trajectory of growth, because learning isn’t linear.
You’re on a spiral journey of healing. I promise.
When junky things that we thought we were done with are coming up again, this means, hurray! you have come to another level of your journey where the next layer of healing is able to come up and be seen.
Whatever you were able to experience and heal before, great, you did that. It’s done.
Now you can go onward to the next edge of this issue that’s ready to be witnessed, doused with TLC, and healed.
So, in actuality, when these annoying challenging things come up again, it’s an indication that you’ve grown and there’s more capacity to do deeper, more satisfying work in your own life then ever before.
Cheers to that.
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The lesson that learning isn’t linear came to me (and is relentlessly repeated to me) from two of my beloved master teachers, Sophia Wise One and Lyneah Marks. I thank my lucky stars for these two gems. Check ’em out.
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