If I don’t give myself the time, space, expression, attention, presence, love, and nourishment — mind, body, and spirit — that I need, I will steal.
Stealing can happen through addictive habits across the board — in relationships, with food, sleep, over doing it, isolating, dumping — there are lots of ways to steal to try and get needs met.
For example, if I don’t give my body real, happy, and nourishing food, eventually I’ll binge on trash and feel sick after.
If I don’t preemptively and regularly take enough time for myself (and it turns out I like a lot of time for myself), then I’ll cancel on people at the last minute, which bums me out.
When I don’t share my passion / art / writing / healing / love / creatively out here in the world, I’ll take someone I love hostage and dump congested energy and stories on them inappropriately.
All those options remind me of Ani DiFranco’s lyric, “Every tool is a weapon of you hold it right.”
Issue is, stealing and using those behaviors addictively and desperately in order to try and get our needs met is usually not satisfying. Stealing doesn’t get the actual need met, messes with other people, and complicates our own sense of self esteem.
It’s a slow process to become conscious of this human pattern.
To believe another way to live is possible. To allow changes to transform us. To grieve what was. To forget and remember and to be compassionate, kind, and gentle with ourselves as we return to love again and again.
We’re learning about self care. Listening to our bodies and beings. Getting help. Using discernment about what kind of help and from whom.
This shift in perspective is under your jurisdiction.
That’s good news.
Recently I wasn’t giving myself enough space and energy to get my needs met. As a result, I was stealing time, attention, passion, and rest by cyclically exploding and shutting down with my loved ones. It wasn’t cute. It wasn’t working.
I like the teaching that when we listen to the whispers, life doesn’t have to shout.
The volume was getting louder over here for me in physical symptoms and strained mental health. So I started to listen!
I’ve been waking up way early to get lots of self care in before I encounter other people. I’ve experimented with new practitioners — acupuncture, colon hydrotherapy, massage, new spiritual fellowship and community.
It’s been a lot, my friends.
I need a lot of help, so I get a lot of help.
I receive as best as I can, I share as best as I can, and I let it all happen, because it’s all already happening anyhow.
Stealing is a habit.
It’s a habit because it’s been repeated so many times.
Stealing can be interrupted. We can live differently.
You can get your needs actually met, proactively.
Not confusing once it’s not confusing. So clear once it’s clear.
Latest posts by Leah Moon (see all)
- Stealing (time, love, space, attention) and how not to do that - October 15, 2018
- Fasting + Feelings + Mental Health Stigma! Ah! - October 1, 2018
- Ghosts, Grief, and Good News – a comic - September 20, 2018