The Book: The Desire Map.
First Reading: January 2014.
Four Years Later? I’m still into desire mapping.
When I first got my hands on The Desire Map, I’d been saying “I’m Willing To Change” for a few months. New teachers, classmates, practices, and books were appearing in my life, left and right. All of a sudden I was mediating daily, praying to the universe or whatever, and I started thinking about how I actually want to feel in my life.
During this time, Danielle LaPorte’s voice was loud and clear in my mind: “Stop chasing goals. Start chasing feelings.”
She explained that we think we want people, places, and things because we think we will feel a certain way upon acquiring those things, places, and people (uh oh, people are not to be “acquired” and used, news flash, by the way). Since a feeling is what we’re on the search for anyhow, what if we first start by identifying how we actually want to feel in the first place?
Do you want to feel sexy? Alive? Loved? Purposeful? In the flow? Rich? Powerful?
Finding the right words is part of the process. Going through each sector of life, to look at what’s working and what might like to be shifted, is another part of the process. The Desire Map includes a workbook session to lead your through this work by yourself or as part of a book club with your friends or strangers (new friends) in person or with an online group.
The idea is that once you get a handle on how you want to feel, you can play out invitations, opportunities, and potential acquisitions in order to imagine if they are in alignment with your core desired feelings or not.
For example, if I want to feel “relaxed” on any given day, and I’ve gotten really clear about that first, then it will probably be easier for me to say, “no thanks,” to un-relaxing nonsense like texting exes, accommodating other people’s last minute plans, or staying up past my bedtime. If I know I want to feel relaxed, I might intentionally opt for bath time, dinner with a reliable friend, or more meditation.
When you’re ready to enjoy your life more, read the The Desire Map, figure out how you’d actually like to feel, and then start taking aligned action from that place.